Pancreas inflamed and work

The last two days, my pancreas has still been super inflamed BUT I have pushed through and worked.  I'm doing what the doctors said to do.  DONT EAT and GET LOTS OF WATER.  They also said to rest and that.... I am NOT doing.   I have survived the last 3 days on coffee, toast and a ton of water.

The pain on the drive to and from work is EXCRUCIATING!!!!!  I am literally in tears, screaming on my drive home.

I get home and I take a pain pill and I lay in bed tossing and turning, crying all night.  I have to push through and be strong.  There is no time to feel sorry for myself and I certainly dont want others to feel sorry for me either.  I just want to make it until my last day of work this week and then get to the hospital for my stay and get better again.

I have a job that is quite exhausting.  As everyone knows, Im a cocktail waitress in a busy lounge on the Las Vegas strip.  I make great money and I try to stick it out and work to not only pay these insane medical expenses BUT cover my health insurance.  Our health insurance is based off of the amount of hours we work.  If I don't work my hours, I have to pay a high price per hour that is lost.

Im at work in EXCRUCIATING PANCREAS pain

My lipase was 208 on the 14th and now on the 24th, it's 500.  How is this possible? How??  I mean seriously?  I was just admitted to the hospital on the 3rd of this month for this.  My Lipasee was 500, it caused this exacct pain, then It spiked to 1048 in one night.  I couldn't move.  I was hospitalized.  Now less than a month later, it's starting again. 

This pain, it's excruciating. every breathe I take, I feel it stabbing into my back.

My face is beginning to flare and it hurts!!!!

3:20am and I have to admit, this is painful.   My face is beginning to flare and it feels like my face is on FIRE!!!!!  These bumps are getting bigger and bigger and they are pulsating.  You can feel that they are right down to the nerve root.  The bumps and the entire area feel like they are on fire.  And my chest is starting to get all red and itchy...eerrrrrr!

And there is nothing I can do except take it like a warrior!!

(my face was clear and NOT on fire earlier today..this just started)

3/27/2014 - Blood work for my heart

The sickness you feel in your gut and in the sadness you feel in your heart when your on your lunch break, you sign into your "private" Lupus support group and your read a young beautiful girl in her 20's saying she can NOT take it any more.  She can't handle the pain and she thinks how easy life would be if she just took her life.  This is something I read on Lupus groups too often.  The pain this damn disease causes is unreal.  It's demonic is my opinion and how in the hell can we as a society sit back and NOT have a cure for this?  Without warning this disease will kill us Lupies. I could be at work tonight and die tomorrow.  Thats the reality.  So many of these Lupies live in isolation when in reality, they need to be out enjoying the breaths that God is giving them b/c those breaths may be their last!  There is beauty in this world BUT only with education and awareness is this going to happen.  Unfortunately, people that have this disease are WAY to embarrassed to talk about.  Shoot, I am single and I have no kids.  I have no one to embarrass.  LOL.  I  am ready to scream from the mountain tops at our senators and our government that we need funding, we need research!  Furthermore, how in the hell can we educate ourselves and families on a disease that even doctors and scientists cant even explain what causes it ANd that has NO cure AND that is fatal??  What kind of life is this to live??  If you let it, it will, without a doubt swallow you whole!!  

Compete for Ms. Nevada United States 2014

http://www.gofundme.com/7r7ibk


Well, there is one week to come up with the funds to compete for Ms. Nevada United States 2014.  I have been so sick that I cant even get up to brush my teeth let alone get out and raise the funds to compete for such an amazing gift as this title.  I say gift b/c this would be the platform that Lupus needs.  I also say gift b/c it would give me a reason to fight super hard to get out of bed every single day.  It would give me a fight in my spirit that right now I have a little of.  It's there.  The fight is there, but I need something to ignite my fire, a passion to keep me going and I feel that being able to have a platform to fight for awareness of such a horrible disease which has now plagued my life, it would bring meaning to my life.

You know, some people who have this disease have a husband or have children or heck, they even have their extended family around them.  That is enough to want to get out of bed each day.  Maybe enough to at least get you to make it down the stairs.  There are weeks at a time I cant even get down the stairs.

Having a platform to shout out and say "Hey, we need our congressmen to listen and we need more research and funding for this disease.  We need more education and not just for the public but for these doctors who have degraded not only me but other Lupus warriors."

Last week, it hit me how important it would be to my health to compete.  The endorphins it would give me.

And, its not just about "me."    I can relate to others.  I have the empathy and the understanding for many things, not just Lupus.  Lupus is one of many auto-immune diseases.  There are too many people who are suffering in silence and that is not the way it should be!!  We need to change that!!

A video I made about a month in the life of my Lupus Journey

And so my journey begins.... its off to a rough start but I still smile and I will beat this!