Tuesday, February 25, 2014

All I ever wanted to be is a mommy

With everything going on, I am having an incredibly difficult time with this baby thing.  All of my friends have children and I have so many friends who have recently posted ultra sound photos and I see all these beautiful baby bumps.   I am so happy for these women.  What a beautiful blessing for all of them!!! This is not a feeling of jealousy at all.  It's a feeling of emptiness that I feel.  I feel I will never have that once in a lifetime experience of carrying a baby inside of me full term.  I want that 9 months of bonding with my child.  I want it more than anything in this world.  After an ectopic pregnancy & 4 miscarriages in 2012, I still have hope!! :)

Although Lupus and Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome make it near impossible to carry a little angel to full term, I'm determined that some day it will happen......some day....

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